Louis CK is one of my favorite comedians. He talked me out of yelling at my phone. Lucky for me, this bit was on Conan, as most of his routines are far from clean.
Category Archives: Uncategorized
News and Apologies
December 2, 2011 – 9:43 am
I know I’ve been absent quite a lot lately. One reason is that I’ve been concentrating on homeschooling the kids. (Well, don’t you feel like an ass for begrudging the break. Apology accepted.)
Another reason is I’m having a bit of a blogistential crisis. More on that later.
Now it’s time for news (tell me I’m not the only one who reads that Paul Harvey’s voice):
- My first article will be published in the February 2012 edition of Family Fun Magazine. Working with Editor Debra Immergut was a great experience. I’m honored to have my first published work in a magazine that has a circulation of 2.1 million. Grab a copy in February (Don’t worry, I’ll remind you.) and you’ll see my article and a picture of our little family that you can cut out and frame or put in your “Awesome People” scrapbook. Later, I’ll give you the back story on that beautiful little pic.
For now, I’m back on the blogging horse. I’ve figured out how to have designated writing time each day. Coming up:
- Sunday Serenity
- Why there may not be a God
- Chillin’ with The Minimalists
- Everything’s Amazing and Nobody’s Happy
Snakes on a Boat
November 10, 2011 – 7:13 am
I was hanging out in my mom’s office, telling her and Dad about our canoeing adventure.
Dad: Did you watch out for low-hanging branches?
Me: Oh, yeah.
Mom: Why?
Me: Because snakes will drop off of them into your boat.
Mom: Really?
Dad: Yes.
Me: We saw a copperhead swimming by when we went last time, but it was just a baby.
Mom: Like that matters. (The babies said to be more deadly than the adults because they can’t control the amount of venom they release when they bite.)
Me: Well, the grown ones can get territorial and they’ll get into your boat.
Mom: I’m never going canoeing.
Dad: I wish I had a nickel for every boat in this area that’s been sunk because someone blew a hole in the bottom shooting at a snake. Idiots.
Me: I don’t know, I’d rather go down with half a snake than be in a perfectly working boat with a whole snake.
Fall in Chattanooga: Canoeing at the Nature Center
November 9, 2011 – 7:48 am
That title may be a bit misleading. This isn’t a post about places to fall in Chattanooga, though I’m sure there are lots of good ones. This is a post about a fun thing to do in Chattanooga in the fall.
One of our favorite things to do is to canoe at the Chattanooga Nature Center (now the Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center). The Nature Center offers free canoeing for members. They provide the life jackets, paddles, and canoes.
We went as a family one weekend with our neighbors and it was a lot of fun. I had the urge to go again on a weekday and made the mistake of asking my husband, who is much bigger and stronger than I am, “Do you think I can get one of those canoes in and out of the rack by myself?” “Of course,” he assured me. “They really aren’t that heavy.”
I believed him.
As we were getting ready to get in the water, I helped a couple dock and exit their canoe. The husband was kind enough to offer to help me carry our canoe down to the water. Once we were in the water, I noticed that a canoe with two kids in it is much more wobbly than a canoe with one kid in it. We had been kayaking a lot and canoes sit so much higher in the water. I had to give the “Everybody just hold still for a second!” warning a few times before they got the hang of it again.
We brought a plastic, folding stool so Gracie could sit in the middle of the boat. Wesley sat in the bow with one paddle and I sat in the stern with the other.
Once we had been paddling for a while, Gracie started asking me to turn the boat around. “We need to turn around, Mom.” “When are we going back, Mom?” She was getting pretty adamant about it.
I said, “Grace, what is the deal? It’s going to look the same no matter which way we’re going.”
She said, “I don’t want to go over a waterfall.”
It was then that I realized the flaw in children’s cartoons. Every time someone in a cartoon is in a canoe for over ten seconds, they end up going over a waterfall. In Gracie’s mind, we were way past our time limit. I explained to her that a) we were going upstream, so any waterfall we saw would be pretty part of the scenery and b) I wouldn’t put in if there was a chance of going over a waterfall.
All in all, we had a great time. I convinced the kids that we should keep as quiet as possible so we could see more wildlife. It worked out really well. They were very quiet and we were able to see a Great Blue Heron and a Belted Kingfisher. We also saw what I’m guessing was a mink, since it was too small to be an otter and was the wrong shape for a muskrat. It was fast and slipped into the water as soon as it noticed us. (Do mink swim?) Wesley even saw some deer prints in a muddy bank.
Right after we turned around, the kids wanted to switch places, so we did a very carefully orchestrated manuever: “You sit in the bottom of the boat. Now, you step over her. Okay, stay in the middle and carefully get in the seat. Now, you move back to your seat…” The fact that we all stayed dry is a testament to the awesomeness of my kids.
We headed back to the dock and the kids carried the paddles and water bottles up the ramp. All that was left to do was carry the canoe up the very steep ramp and get it into the rack. I got it out of the water, flipped it on its side, and hefted it onto my shoulder. I don’t know how much those things weigh, but they’re in the “damn heavy” range. I tiptoed it up the ramp powered only by sheer determination and husband cursing. I took a breather and then pushed it up into the rack. Unfortunately, though I had managed to get it onto two of the rails, I could not get it onto the third. Fortunately, the kids climbed under it and lifted it enough for me to push it in all the way. Little troopers.
When Paul got home that night, I showed him the plate-sized bruise on my leg caused by the side of the canoe bumping against me as I carried up the ramp. “Wait,” he said. “You picked it up? I meant you could drag it.” Once again, folks, communication is very important to a good marriage.
In summary, as the weather gets cooler, head down to the Nature Center and go canoeing. Just be sure to bring another adult.
Things to do in Chattanooga This Weekend
October 27, 2011 – 7:33 am
[EDIT: The information I had down for Chickstock was from last year's website. Chickstock is free! Make note of the new time and the band lineup below.]
Thursday, October 27th
Fireside at Greenway: 7-9pm, free. You bring chairs and marshmallows, they provide the fire. What more could you want? We’ll be there because my kids read signs, remember dates, and never pass up a chance to eat marshmallows.
Saturday, October 29th
Chickstock: 2-7pm. Tickets: FREE! Another fun time at Greenway Park. This’ll be the first year we’ve caught Chickstock and I’m looking forward to it.
From the website: CHICKSTOCK is a family-friendly outdoor event produced to benefit the North Chickamauga Creek Conservancy. CHICKSTOCK features local and regional bluegrass and American music, local food and art vendors, and outdoor activities for all ages. The event promotes the importance of local land conservation, cultural appreciation, and responsible stewardship of our natural resources.
Bands:
- Folk School of Chattanooga
- Blue John
- David Russell
- Lone Mountain Band
- Barefoot Nellie
- New Binkley Brothers
- Bluetastic Fangrass
- Slim Pickens
I’ve seen Bluetastic Fangrass and Slim Pickens before and they are great bands.
Will we see you there?
CouponChief.com Review
October 4, 2011 – 9:13 pm
I received an email asking if I would be willing to do a sponsored post for Coupon Chief. My first thought was, “Have you not spent enough time on my site to realize that I hate couponing?” Then the email mentioned it was an e-coupon site. That didn’t move them up in my estimation. I figured it would go one of two ways:
- A site like Coupon Mom where I have to scroll through pages of printable coupons to find the one (if I’m lucky) that I can use.
- A deal of the day website that isn’t any more helpful. “Look at this great deal: 40% off beard trimmers!” Those sites don’t consistently have products I’m interested in so I don’t bother reading them.
I clicked through to the Coupon Chief site, anyway, so I could get more ammo for turning them down. By the time I was 30 seconds into the introductory video on their “How It Works” page, they had my attention. It is a site that finds coupon codes for online shopping. Their search bar allowed me to search for anything from a particular website/store (Amazon, Target) to a specific product (Marmot jackets).
The best part (besides the fact that it supports my Amazon habit), I didn’t have to sign up for an account or an email list to use Coupon Chief.
In summary: Coupon Chief has an amazing searchable website that finds coupon codes for thousands of different products. You don’t have to wade through a lot of irrelevant information to find a deal on what you’re shopping for and you don’t have to become a full time deal blogger to save money on things you want to buy online.
This post was sponsored by CouponChief.com but all opinions are my own.
Quitting Facebook
October 3, 2011 – 11:28 pm
Though my hatred of Facbook has been well documented (10 things you hate about Facebook), I have tried everything to make it work (9 People You Should Unfriend Today).
I changed my privacy settings to “friends only.” I stopped uploading pictures. But when Facebook suggested I friend someone who I had only texted (no mutual friends, no other connections), I started to realize that Facebook was in a lot farther than I had realized.
I found a Facebook page that told me how to download all my pictures from Facebook to my hard drive in one fell swoop. Getting my mobile uploads off of facebook was the only thing that stopped me from deleting my account before. Manually saving each picture was a daunting task but PhotoGrabber had them all saved in no time.
I deleted all of the app permissions from my account and found the one account (LivingSocial) that I usually logged into using my Facebook account. I sent them a request for a login username and password.
I set up a shell account so that I could continue to put links on the fan page for this blog, but I don’t intend to have anything more to do with it.
I had to find another site to get the link to the delete page. Facebook is pretty good about not leaving it lying around.
Once I deleted my account, I have to stay off of it for two weeks, or I’ll have to resend my delete request and start all over. I deleted the bookmark off of my phone and my computers so that there was no way that I could accidentally access my account.
Now it’s just a matter of waiting.
I’m glad the Facebook era of my life is over. Now I can concentrate on more important things…like Twitter.
What would you do?
September 25, 2011 – 1:49 pm
See what happens when a theater in Belgium fills all but two seats with some rough-looking bikers and sells the last seats to an unsuspecting couple.
Yup, pretty much
September 24, 2011 – 7:59 am
Maybe you make yourself too available for the job or maybe you just don’t give the interviewer that tingly feeling.
Home